I always see these kinds of comments online:
…that when you’re positive, you shouldn’t be fooling around anymore
…that casual sex is senseless
…that one night stands are a waste of time
Weird but I went through the same phase, note though I am not saying it IS a phase. What I would rather be interested to knowing is why are people doing orgies, one night stands, casual sex encounters.
There may be a million and one responses for these. One thing I am certain of is that it is not senseless and a waste of time for the person doing these things. It MUST mean something to the person.
What comes after is an entirely different discussion. People get sick, people get hurt, some may have been frustrated, some may have gotten desperate. Who knows?
I am concerned though that telling someone to stop doing something without knowing where the person is coming from may not be effective.
I am afraid that showing a friend that he is doing something wrong, that he needs to change– without really seeing the real issue behind, may not be sending the right message.
Of course, as always, this is just me.
Generally though, I think it’s best to understand the other person first before “instructing” him to do otherwise.
Again this is just me.
I am concerned that in the process of wanting the person to change, maybe to our personal perception of what’s “for the better”, without really seeing through the issue– may be pushing the person to rationalize what s/he is doing, and unconsciously, we may be pushing him to doing what we perceive was wrong to begin with.
Or maybe it’s just me.
How do we really put ourselves in the shoes of the other person? Is there really a way of doing this without understanding the person first? Have we sometimes put ourselves in their shoes based on what we “thought” what they’re going through… without really hearing them.
This is just me… Oh well.