Losing Grip

07.12.2016

Have you ever played tug-o-war?  You pull so hard but when the other end is just stronger, you let go and in the process– you fell down to your knees.

Have you ever tried to hold water in the palm of your hands and looked at the liquid slowly drip from in-between your fingers?

Have you ever held on to a relationship so tight even though you knew deep down inside, the other party is trying just as hard to let do?

This is how I feel every time I lose someone.  A patient. A friend. A lover.  Then I force myself to move on and I tell myself there’s no use dwelling in misery.

This is how I feel when someone decides to be “tired of fighting” and I am nowhere near letting go.

This is how I feel.

But when these things happen, what I feel, what I think and what I believe do not matter. YOU do.  YOU are what matters.  I can only stay beside you to hold your hand, or behind you to catch you when you fall, or from a distance to see you fade away.

It would be nice if everyone will fight till the end. But nice is not ours to impose.Certainly not mine, at least.

I can only hope. I do hope.

There, another I-statement.

 

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About +daddy+drEw+

HIV awareness and treatment Advocate & Activist. Living with HIV since 2007. A friend. A partner. A dad to the HIV Community.
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