I just finished Grey’s Anatomy S12E5 where Meredith once again came face to face with the doctor supposedly responsible for her husband, Mc Dreamy’s death. It was an emotional episode, like any other episodes. This one hit me though.
It made me think, what If I came face to face with the person who gave me HIV? What if I met the doctors who handled my dad and my grandma before they died?
What if I met the doctor responsible for the failure to monitor my friend’s liver during his first confinement, only upon transfer to another hospital, to find out that the other doctor failed to look at his liver– and then it’s too late for him.
I have seen one too many PLHIVs mad at their “donor” and some even wishing them death.
How would I react? I mean, I have always said that I was not raped, whatever happened was a result of my action(s).
But will It really be that easy?
How do you forgive someone who, to some people’s perception, forever ruined their future?
How does one pardon the person responsible for the lifetime’s worth of stigma one is, and is about to face?
How does a person look up to the heavens above and say it’s His will and be totally free from any anger within?
As in many other cases, there are just too many what ifs and how dos.
And we don’t have the answer.
Not an answer.
So we just suck it up and cross the f*cking bridge when and if we get there.
For now, it’s business as usual.
There are a million and one things to do and we can’t get stuck with the ifs of life.