The contents of this blog are solely my opinion and mine alone. The community may not share the views I have and I respect this.
Serodiscordant – A Definition
A Serodiscordant relationship, also known as magnetic or mixed-status, is one in which one partner is infected by HIV and the other is not. This contrasts withseroconcordant relationships, in which both partners are of the same HIV status.
Opposite of the word is “Seroconcordant”.
Why Write About This
I am in no way an expert in relationships, moreso Serodiscordant Relationships. I am writing this to express my views on relationships –serodiscordant or not.
People Would Disagree
I would say that a good 80% of my peers in the HIV Community would vote “NO” to a serodiscordant relationship. At least that’s what I observed in Twitter. In a few discussions, some reasons were:
- Disclosure to someone is difficult enough, all the more is disclosing to someone you are dating who is not on the same boat
- Fear of rejection
- Fear of Stigma
- Fear of Infecting the Other Party
- Fear of becoming a Burden to the Other Party.
Wikipedia further states:
Serodiscordant couples face numerous issues not faced by seroconcordant couples, including decisions as to what level of sexual activity is comfortable for them, knowing that practicing safer sex reduces but does not eliminate the risk of transmission to the HIV-negative partner. There are also potential psychological issues arising out of taking care of a sick partner, and survivor guilt. Financial strains may also be more accentuated as one partner becomes ill and potentially less able or unable to work.
Yeah, I disagree in the all these points raised by my peers. I understand and respect these reasons cited by my peers, however I do not agree. I do not agree under the premise that one has given time and effort and invested so much for someone only to be emotionally bothered by their being serodiscordant.
Why date in the first place?
I know that we end up liking people at times and so we explore the possibilities of getting to know the person more by dating the guy. Only to be faced by the dilemma: The other person is HIV Negative. Or at least, to be faced by the truth.
Basis of the Relationship
Like I said, I am no expert. The only basis of a relationship for me that is valid and binding is LOVE. Heterosexual or otherwise. Serodiscordant or not.
There, We do not eliminate the risk of transmission in having safer sex. That’s a fact. Would you consider abstinence then?
I am not hoping for a yes or no response from anyone.
What I am saying is that it’s a shared responsibility. A mutual responsibility.
The other person knows the risks. Let him decide for himself. It’s unfair for a person to end up liking you, and yes, end up loving you, only to be told you cannot be together because you chose not to. Again….
Why date in the first place if you would just dump the other guy because he’s HIV(-)?
Complications of A Serodiscordant Relationship
I heard that a PLHIV (in a serodiscordant relationship) was “threatened” by the family of his partner when the family found out about his status. The family told him:
We don’t know what we will do to you if (our son) ends up HIV+
The World Health Organization released its guidelines for serodiscordant partners.
Then again, it does not eliminate the transmission risks.
Do I still approve of Serodiscordant relationships?
Yes, if you love each other still, post disclosure.
No, if you don’t love each other enough to take the risk.
Is it selfish? Maybe.
Again, I am no Love Expert.
It bothers me that sometimes, we cause the stigma from within, it’s not the people around us. SOMETIMES.