Earlier, I was talking to God, I was thanking him for all the challenges that made me stronger. I told Him that HIV I knew, was not His punishment, but His way of making me see life from a different perspective.
A Different Life
Nowadays, a day would mean:
1. Checking my inbox(es) across different social sites and see if there are any urgent call for assistance.
2. Engaging in conversations with different organizations and updating myself with the different issues of the HIV community in the Philippines.
3. Meeting with organizations, government officials, and the HIV community.
And So I was Praying
I was asking God for more courage to face the issues in behalf of a community that’s afraid to come out, and so I have to speak in their behalf.
I was asking Him for more energy to face each day with the strength I need to run if I must, jump if I should, and fly if required.
I was asking my Creator for more faith. That the community will one day live with less stigma and discrimination. That one day, we don’t have to debate with the government that MANDATORY is simply illegal. That one day, life can just be a breeze. Although I know it’s never going to be that way.
And I was also asking Him for more understanding from my loved ones.
I found myself in tears, I was telling God I was tired and that no matter how tired I was, I wasn’t about to give up. This fight is not about me, it is for the future of the community. It is for the future of those labeled as “high risk”. It is for the future of those yet to be born.
I found myself in tears, I was frustrated. Frustrated that the definition of “illegal” and “human rights” does not matter for people who want to leave a legacy when they finally leave their posts in the government. For people who don’t understand the consequences and so they chose to look the other way. For men and women who think of these issues as personal rather than looking at things from a bigger perspective.
I found myself in tears because I haven’t talked to God for some time and… Well, I miss talking to Him
Then A Message Came In
@pozzieblue messaged me saying “Thank you”. He was saying that he knows I am doing all of these things for the community and he just wanted to thank me. Now of course. I know a lot of people appreciate what we do for the community.
Blue said he knew I wasn’t asking for anything in return. He just wanted to say thank you and he reminded me to take some time to rest.
He made me smile. I looked out the window and saw the full moon, and I whispered to God, “Thanks.”
So I Went Back To Praying
Thank you for the love so unconditional. Thank you for the strength seemingly unlimited. Thank you for each waking hour. Thank you for the challenges that make me even stronger.
Thank you for the community that inspires me. Thank you for the orgs that hold my hand as I journey through this new world I am in. Thank you for the wisdom so I know that what we do in and for the community is nothing money can buy.
I’m okay now. This weekend is going to be crazy with the Candlelight Memorial and all, but I also know that it’s a venue where I can draw some more inspiration to get me going. It’s going to be a place where I shall witness hope and faith.
It’s going to be a blast!