Joned Ian – You will be missed

Joned Ian.


And before anyone concludes. he is not HIV poz.

I met Ian around 2006-2007 through (what was then called) Guys4men.   We had a brief (one) sexual encounter and we lost touch shortly after that. We were however constantly connected through facebook and eventually, we became friends.

Good friends. He was among the first guys who I came out to (being HIV+).

It’s unexpected how we ended up as friends.  We hardly had similarities and we came from completely different circle of friends.

He pushed my best friend and I to join the Philip Morris car raffle promo and as a result, I shifted to Philip Morris for some time.  Needless to say, we didn’t win the raffle. Amft!

He’s a soft spoken, sweet guy.

He’d have goosebumps and would LOL every time I would mention that one night we had.

A few months back, he had fungal meningitis and was confined at St Lukes QC where he was (supposedly) treated.

Days after his discharge, I bumped into him at Resorts World, he was noticeably thinner and he had rashes on his face.  It was a short hi&hello meet as I was with some friends.  After he left, I texted him and asked if he had been tested. He said yes, he was tested non-reactive for HIV.

A few days after Resorts World, I had the urge to say hello and so I texted him.  He said he was confined again for Fungal meningitis.  I called him up and asked how he was, he said he’s fine.

I failed to check on him after that.

Earlier, I was driving with my best friend and I suddenly wondered how Ian was doing.  Best went to Ian’s facebook and noticed that the last post was way back September.  He noticed a throwback thursday tag dedicating the photo in memory of Ian. I was stunned and had to pull over.

And so Ian,  you didn’t even say goodbye.

Or then again, I didn’t even bother checking on you.  I was so caught up in the HIV Advocacy and I didn’t even check how you were. Or where you were. I’m sorry, friend.

I know you would be proud of what I have so far achieved– as I know also that you would have been an active volunteer in the cause that I have so long clamored.

But you didn’t say goodbye.

I’m sad. And yes, I cried, you son of a b*tch!

And I miss you. I will always miss you.

Your giggles.  Your garfield eyes.  Your soft words.

You’re a good man.  People must know that you’re one good person.

While the world lost a good man, I have to convince myself that you are in a better place.  A cliche I always tell myself (& others)— that you have found peace.  You have found forever.

Still, you didn’t say goodbye.

I miss you, friend. I love you.


About +daddy+drEw+

HIV awareness and treatment Advocate & Activist. Living with HIV since 2007. A friend. A partner. A dad to the HIV Community.
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